The Bro Code

Booze, Sex, and the Dark Art of Dealmaking in China

Sliding into marriage

Meg Jay for The New York Times:

Sliding into cohabitation wouldn’t be a problem if sliding out were as easy. But it isn’t. Too often, young adults enter into what they imagine will be low-cost, low-risk living situations only to find themselves unable to get out months, even years, later.

Early men and women were equal, say scientists

Study shows that modern hunter-gatherer tribes operate on egalitarian basis, suggesting inequality was an aberration that came with the advent of agriculture

21 women

The University of Montreal has found that men who had sex with more than 20 women lower their prostate cancer risk.

The voltron theory of casual dating

In the absence of one good partner, an actively dating single person will naturally construct a corpus of complementary partners who, if assembled into one giant Voltron partner, would be his or her ideal boyfriend or girlfriend.

Oh, yes.

Why do we kiss?

I would never have linked kissing with mouth-to-mouth feeding.

To fall in love with anyone, do this

Mandy Len Catron:

More than 20 years ago, the psychologist Arthur Aron succeeded in making two strangers fall in love in his laboratory. Last summer, I applied his technique in my own life, which is how I found myself standing on a bridge at midnight, staring into a man’s eyes for exactly four minutes.

Very interesting.

The saddest feeling in the world

Aditya Yadav:

After a breakup you will never see her dog again and her dog will never know why you stopped visiting.

How I learned I was pro-choice by secretly aborting my friend’s baby

Zaron Burnett III had to make the decision to abort his friend’s baby:

How do you decide something like that for someone else? How do you know what the right thing to do is? What grounds do you use to decide if an abortion is the right call? Morality? Practicality? I had nightmares of babies cussing me out. I had dreams of my friend pushing a stroller and cursing my name. There was no way to be certain. And, in the absence of certainty, my mind offered me lots of ways I might ruin the lives of others.

Delayed adulthood

Psychology professor Laurence Steinberg looks into delayed adulthood and comes across marriage:

For many, after its initial novelty has worn off, marriage fosters a lifestyle that is more routine and predictable than being single does. Husbands and wives both report a sharp drop in marital satisfaction during the first few years after their wedding, in part because life becomes repetitive. A longer period of dating, with all the unpredictability and change that come with a cast of new partners, may be better for your brain than marriage.

Raping women

A new, broader definition of rape – often called “sexual assault” – led to a surprising result. The same number of men and women report of having been raped.

Glenn Harlan Reynolds concludes:

If, in light of the data, women exhibit a similar predilection for sexual misbehavior to men, then surely the colleges should be punishing roughly as many women as men for such conduct. If they are not, the only possible explanation is some form of institutional sexism.

Experiments at OkCupid

Christian Rudder about the result of one of several experiments, they conducted at OkCupid:

So, your picture is worth that fabled thousand words, but your actual words are worth…almost nothing.

I love OkTrends. It’s great that’s it’s back to live with new content. Check out the old posts as well.

Tinder and makeup

Brinton Parker tried three different levels of makeup on Tinder. She concludes:

Despite my reservations about the entire concept, however, the guys on Tinder surprised me. More men flocked to a bare-faced girl than a heavily made-up one, yet they seemed most aggressively interested in a face adorned in average levels of makeup.

Check the article for images and more information.

Still the Water

Peter Bradshaw:

Kyoko (Jun Yoshinaga) is a confident, intelligent 16-year-old girl who is falling in love with the diffident, moody boy next door: Kaito (Nijiro Murakami). Kaito’s parents are divorced: his dad, a tattooist, lives in Tokyo and his mum works in a restaurant. Kyoko is dealing with something even more painful: her mother, a delicate and beautiful woman, is dying, perhaps of cancer, although the film is a little too otherworldly to acknowledge the exact illness, the exact medical care or the ugly, un-Zen physical toll it can take.

Set against this fraught situation is a shocking event: a dead body is washed up on the beach. Despite the film’s title, the water is far from still – there are tropical storms and the waves and currents are dangerous. The dead man turns out to have a connection with Kaito’s mother, and realising this forces him to re-evaluate his relationship with his parents and with Kyoko herself who cannot understand why he is so shy and reluctant to make love to her.

A beautiful movie about love, life and death.

Monogamous women

Melissa Dahl:

Research has shown that women’s libidos tend to nose-dive when they’re in a long-term relationship, but the same isn’t true for men. However, we might have been misinterpreting the meaning of this finding, suggest the authors, Dr. Aaron E. Carroll and Dr. Rachel C. Vreeman, both of the Indiana University School of Medicine. “While some would say that this means the women have an easier time being monogamous because their sex drive has gone down, sex experts would say that this is not the healthy state for these women,” they write. “The women are losing their desire to initiate sex or to have sex with their partners, which does not reflect sexual health.”

I need to get this book.

First Moon Party

New ad from period care package provider HelloFlo:

My favorite is still this Bodyfrom ad:

Casual love

Carsie Blanton:

It’s my observation that as casual sex becomes more acceptable behavior (for men and women), it lessens the shame and anxiety associated with the sex that people are having anyway (and have been having since the dawn of time, and are going to keep having). […]

But why not have the option of exploring love, too, with or without a side of commitment? If we can agree that our bodies are not inherently dangerous, can’t we do the same for our hearts? […]

Imagine if you could say to a casual partner, “I love you. It’s no big deal. It doesn’t mean you’re The One, or even one of the ones. It doesn’t mean you have to love me back. It doesn’t mean we have to date, or marry, or even cuddle. It doesn’t mean we have to part ways dramatically in a flurry of tears and broken dishes. It doesn’t mean I’ll love you until I die, or that I’ll still love you next year, or tomorrow.”

Great read.

Porn and tuition

I’ve been following Miriam’s story for a while. Now she writes more about her choice of doing porn to pay for Duke.

But my porn work pays the exorbitant tab for one simple reason: Demand for porn actresses, especially extremely young ones like myself, far exceeds supply. How interesting that the same basic principle explains why my tuition bill is so high in the first place.

L'origine du monde

Gustave Coubert’s famous painting “L’Origine du monde” (“The Origin of the World”) shows the genitals of a naked woman. Performance artist Deborah de Robertis provides the visitors of the Musée d’Orsay with the oportunity to see how realistic the artwork is.

Women see their vagina for the first time

I posted an add on Craigslist seeking women who have never seen their vaginas.
This is the result.

I think that’s more common than one would guess.